Monday, 20 September 2010


Everyone should have something they can cry about. And I don't mean pain or anguish. Everyone cries when you rip wicks out of their nose after nasal surgery. Trust me on this. I'm talking about the more... existential crying. You're not crying because you lost someone, but because something touches you. I know women (and men) who cried at the ending of the Moulin Rouge. Stuff like that. Everyone should have something they can cry about. For me, that's music. And not just any music: one specific song. Listening to it on a bad day will have me crying for the duration of the song. On a good day, I can barely force the tears back. If I sing along, I break up at around a three or so seconds into it. I'm not kidding or exaggerating. After a few seconds, my eyes start filling up, and my voice breaks. It's embarrassing.

I don't know why it does this. I think it's because of the combination of happiness and sadness, this... nostalgia. It reminds you of the most amazing moments in your life, and you can't help thinking back at them. At the time itself you might have been having the time of your life, but right now, you can fully appreciate how amazing those moments really were. For me, those memories are of a very specific person.

To me, this is music. It's difficult to express what I mean here. Of course it's music, but it's Music, too. It's like pointing at a person, someone who perfectly represents everything it is to be human, and saying "this is Man". This song, it's music. It does to me what I think music should do. It provokes me into caring about it. It makes me think, and, more importantly, it makes me feel. Club music is music, too, but it's entertainment.


  1. I remember crying to the Jeff Buckley version of Hallelujah.

    Every fucking time I heard it.

    It's the only song I ever cried to, ever. I used to play it just because the feeling of becoming emotional because of a song was... intoxicating. I wasn't addicted to the song, I was addicted to crying to the song.
    (don't get me wrong, it's an amazing song, and I love it to small, bloody shreds).

    Now that I'm jaded and cynical, I don't cry to that song anymore. It still stirs a feeling of melancholy, but there aren't any tears involved, and... I miss that.

  2. I know the feeling too, Iskariot... Hugsssss