Sunday, 22 August 2010


Hurr Durr

Seriously though,
I'm a bit tired, but I can't sleep.
Just like I'm stuck without inspiration or willpower.
Can it be monday please? Now?

okay then, copypaste of what was going to be a vlog. Not to waste your RSS feeds, eh?

"My first vlog. I thought it might be worth giving a try. Now, I’ve been wondering what I’d make this first one about. I’ve been thinking what accent to use. But I thought it might be more honest if I use my own australo-americo-belgian accent. This way, I can talk about whatever and not think about the accent.

I’m ripping of loads of people like this, but no-one will notice if I call it homage, right?

My favorite actors. This one is even more difficult than my favorite movies. You see, when picking a favorite movie, you only have to consider how much you enjoyed it or which one you want to see the most right now, or whatever. Favorite actors don’t work that way.

So, I came up with criteria:
I have to enjoy watching him (or her).
He (or she) has to be diverse in his or her way of acting.

Then limit that list to five, because I could still name too many actors.

Now, in no particular order, here they are.
Johnny Depp, Jim Carrey, Gary Oldman, Dame Judi Dench and Kevin Spacey.

I was going to just enter “random stuff here” on my script-thing, because I didn’t know what to say. But then it came back to me. For your information, this stuff came to me yesterday, as I was falling asleep.
Basically, there’s one thing 2of these actors have something in common:
They’ve never played a villain (3 if you don’t think the Cable Guy had a villain).

I think Johnny Depp would play an amazing Evil Overlord. Judi Dench would be astounding as an evil, but very sensible, calm and british empress-witch-queen-whatever.

Because, ya gotta give, Gary Oldman as Dracula was amazing (also one of the few non gay vampires (*cough cough*). Wow. Acornfilmsrippof, anyone. ANYWAY.
Kevin Spacey as SPOILERSPOILERSPOILER Kaiser Söze.

But how about Johnny Depp as a sadistic serial killer? (oh... wait... rofl :p) (how many of those HAS he played? 2? 3?)
Seriously though. Johnny Depp is charming, but I want to see him play evil OPENLY.
I’m still convinced that the only people who have fun are evil and chaotic neutral characters. (DEADPOOOOL :D!)
Jack Sparrow, Deadpool, most serial killers, Jafar, Oogie Boogie, Hans Gruber, The Joker...
It’s the evil ones that know how to have fun. The good guys are full of despair, try to have fun but fail, or are just angsty in general.
Good => Boring
Evil => Fun
Light => Predictable
Dark => Awesome

I’m good at derailing topics, aren’t I?
There’s something else about those 5 Actors(/-rice).
You could say that one of them doesn’t fit in there. But then I point out, annoying little twerp that I am, that not a single one of them “just fits” in there.
Jim Carrey is the only Stand up Comedian in there.
Judi Dench is the only woman
Kevin Spacey is the only one who regularly plays people without hair. (It’s a long shot. I know. Shut up)
Gary Oldman is the only one that makes most people go “huh? Whuzzat?” (Sirius Black. Idjut)
Johnny Depp is the only one who has an island. Or, acting capabilities considered, the only one who was known as a movie-breaker, dooming every movie he was in to become a flop until he did pirates.

So yeah.

But there are different criteria on which you can choose your favorite actors. For example, which ones would survive a zombie-apocalypse!
(I’ve seen yesterday that Bill Murray wouldn’t. He’s very bad at practical jokes, after all).

Lemme just name those, then:
Jason Statham
Jet Li
Silvester Stallone
Arnold Schwarzenegger
Bruce Willis

... Err... I’m seeing a pattern here.
I wonder if you’ve heard of it, but Stallone is making a new action flick: “The Expendables.”
You know, you could condemn him for his silliness, being as old as my grandparents, scold him for the fact that he’s still filming after he’s broken his neck.
But then you can start revering him. The above actors, for one, are ALL IN IT! (why revere Stallone for that? He brought them together. Yeah, I should’ve mentioned that >.<)
That movie will rule.

Other actors that would survive the zombie apocalypse, or at least go out really badass:

Natalie Portman
Summer Glau
Morgan Freeman/Clint Eastwood (They’re joined at the hip anyway)
Timothy Oliphant,
Keanu Reeves (Zombies don’t attack each other anyway)
Will Smith
Christian Bale
Michael Caine
Woody Harrelson
Vinnie Jones
Ryan Reynolds
Mila Jovovich
Christopher Walken
Pretty much every wild and dangerous animal living in Australia. Like:
Russell Crowe
Hugh Jackman

Here’s a question for you: would you survive the zombie apocalypse? If you’re honest with yourself? Of course not.
But it’s nice to pretend you would."


  1. I'd probably try to survive a zombie apocalypse by not going the fuck outside. The front door as well as the lower-level windows are reinforced with iron bars and there's usually enough food stocked inside for meals for three people for several days, so I can last weeks if I ration it. Also: chickens. More precisely: more fuckin' eggs than you can eat. Not the healthiest of diets, but it should last me long enough for the military to come in and do a sweep.
    Wait... Belgium... so that's the Belgian military...
    Yeah, I'm fucked.

  2. Well, if you don't mind, I'll come over, eat some of your eggs and keep an eye on your garden wall, if it's all the same to you. (garden wall: easiest point of entry. Though the old greenhouses can easily be turned into spike pits :p)

    Afterwards, we better move to Ragnarok's (he replies here, sometimes) farm. Remote, and all the meat you can eat. Plus, the guy can drive :p

  3. Gruber? HAHAHAwesome!

    As for your question.. define "survive"... I mean, do I have to be _alive_ alive or can I be undead? That's not really dead now is it?

    (Or maybe I'd be the one finding a cure.. Or more potent explosives... There's a horde of zombies trying to break down my door and I'm just sitting in my lab, calmly adding a drop of nitroglycerine to my mix ;D)

  4. You didn't specify what kind of zombies. If they're the wall-scaling kind of zombies I'm pretty boned, yes. >.<

    Without specification, I was assuming your average run-of-the-mill braaiin zombies who don't move faster than a sluggish walk and certainly don't climb stuff.

  5. Zombies have, sadly, evolved. They can at least run a bit, and, in huge numbers, can scale a three-meter wall. But, like I said, if all of us (the nerd squad: you, robbe, raven, me (possibly sander(linux geek and the strongest guy I know)), Ivana and my sister) hole up there, we can muster up enough sadism and creativity to stop them from climbing the walls.

  6. Nerd-squad, is it? Not geek-squad?

  7. hoooh, I missed this discussion.
    But yeah,(Assuming we don't get infected in the first moments and it doesn't spread through the air of course.) I'd probably build a fortress out of the farm I have.(I hope I'm home at the moment of the infection, because I haven't figured a good escape route from campus yet) With a little luck I can get to the guns of my grandfather (he's a hunter). I also know a shop with carbine guns and crossbows not far from my home.

    To be able to keep building and sustaining the food I get from the farm I will need people. First thing I'll do is planning on getting my friend and relatives to the farm(hoping they survived to). From our farm/fortress we will plan expeditions into the city and even to some other part of our farm where we keep all the grain supplies. We will also study the behaviour of the zombies. How do they react how do their senses work. (Can you pass them noticed as long as you don't make any sound? (first or second month)

    From there on we will organise further expeditions looking for more survivors and sustainable ways to get food.(5 months) Use more fields, handle more farm. Establishing some sort of hierarchy to organise will probably follow, this will require a system of messengers. (1 year)
    By now we will probably be in need of bullets, arrows (for my bow, which I will equip with a lazer).

    Within 5 to 10 years I will have my own kingdom. I might have to wage war against other kingdom who are evil and try to enslave people and stuff. This should be done quickly so we can skip history to the enlightenment as soon as possible. After my retirement I will only allow democracy. But I'm drifting of here. That's another story and plan.

    So yeah, if I survive the first 2 weeks and I don't get infected I rate myself as having a relatively high survival rate. I know how to get guns food, bullets, gasoline, .... and all of them for a relatively long term.

    I can use some more people who have survival knowledge in a (post)-apocalyptic world.

    I think, I think to much about this.